


Take a Few Steps Back And Try Again

by D_A_Mante



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU, Green Lantern - All Media Types, Justice League - All Media Types
Genre: Batlantern - Freeform, Fuckbuddies, Hal is an idiot, Humor, I'm sorry I made them idiots, M/M, they need to talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-02
Updated: 2017-01-02
Packaged: 2018-09-14 05:03:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9163378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/D_A_Mante/pseuds/D_A_Mante
Summary: Hal is screwing the Bat. All in the spirit of team building, and getting off. He tends to not overthink these things...except apparently, this time, he does.





	

It never happens on a bed.

It happens against the walls of Watchtower closets and showers (and that was a surprise; he always thought Batman would be against this kind of thing at work). It happens on the Javelin's benches. On a crate in the hangar. Against an air vent or in access stairs on a Gotham rooftop. It happens in _space_. But never on a bed. Never anywhere personal to either of them.

It doesn't even happen very often.

Just once a week at the most frequent. Sometimes it happens with weeks or months in between, after either of them have been especially busy (or so Hal assumes, for Bats). Hal disappears to space often enough, and Batman to Gotham.

It doesn't stop Batman from being an ass.

Hal still gets talked to like he's an idiotic employee, and he doesn't get apologies for anything Batman says.

It doesn't change when they have their clothes off. It's almost funny because Batman always keeps the cowl on. It's not funny because apparently Batman is much more of an ass when fucking. They practically don't talk during. Batman fucks like he has somewhere to be afterwards. He's quiet, intense and fast, and he dresses immediately (Hal can almost hear the "are we done?" even if half the time it's Batman who starts things) and leaves with a deliberate (definitely deliberate, Hal thinks) swish of his cape. Hal is left to try and reclaim some afterglow, and clean himself up or just replace his uniform construct.

It usually happens after they argue.

After huge yelling matches, especially. Hal laughed to himself, the first time, because this isn't what everyone meant by _getting along_. He said so, and Batman just grunted. It might have been amusement, or just a sex sound.

After each encounter, there's a while where Hal doesn't get as pissed off and Batman drops arguments with him earlier. Hal is aware it's not a healthy way to settle disputes, but it works.

It only happens anyway because Hal is often down to fuck (especially with a hottie), and Batman can't get a hold of his usual fuck buddies.

Or so Hal figures. He's pretty sure Catwoman is one. Diana, maybe. There's a pool that bets Clark is, too, but while Hal can see how Clark looks at Batman, it isn't _that_ kind of look. Besides, Hal doesn't believe the boyscout would ever betray Lois.

Maybe it isn't limited to League members or villains, though. There's that rumor about Bruce Wayne. It's not the craziest connection Batman could have (Hal has heard the story that Robin is Talia al Ghul's son). In fact, it would make sense. Batman has more resources than any (probably) crazy bat vigilante has any business having, and Wayne cares about Gotham but only enough to throw his money around. He's definitely thrown his money at stranger projects, judging from Hal's not-nosy googling. The personal connection would give them a solid reason to be in bed with each other--figuratively speaking.

Hal ends up thinking a lot about Batman and Bruce Wayne.

He doesn't ask, but he guesses it _is_ a pretty personal and long standing connection for them to be working together against Gotham's underworld. How would a guy like Batman even convince a guy like Wayne? Is it something you just ask of an old friend? But Batman is asking a lot more than any normal friend would agree to. It's not just the money; it's being party to the whole thing.

Hal is thinking of that possibility when Batman fucks him out of the blue. They hadn't had a recent fight, and it's one of those rare times Batman kisses him. Batman also goes slower than usual. So Hal asks him whose schedule was packed. Not that he expected an answer. It still makes him mumble a 'fuck you, Spooky' when Batman just stares at him and then leaves.

Hal is embarrassingly up to date now on the Catwoman's sightings in Gotham. A much easier person to track is Bruce Wayne, who was on the rags for a short while for allegedly sleeping with a young politician. That headline came out the only morning Batman went out of pattern.

So Hal thinks Batman and Bruce Wayne are lovers. Not just fucking, like what Hal and Batman are doing. Hal convinces himself that at the very least, Batman is pining for a guy who won't get out of his rebellious celebrity phase. It kind of gives him satisfaction that Batman is being pathetic, isn't getting something he wants.

Except Hal is sort of pathetic, too, for thinking that, and being part of this drama. Apparently his role in this Lifetime movie is that of the nameless side character the hero of the story uses to fuck the pain away.

But Hal is okay with that. He is. He gets it. People like Oliver and Dinah and Clark make it work, but the truth is their job doesn't leave many chances for anything resembling a relationship. Even if it does, Hal only needs to look back at his long string of sex friends and a disaster of a relationship with Carol to remind him that he's just not made for things that are long term.

Batman most probably loves someone else and even if he doesn't, Hal isn't who he'd go for. Hal can take a hint.

But he can, apparently, be enough of an idiot to want more.

He doesn't even know why. It's just that one time, after they take down an alien juggernaut together, he pumps his fists in the air and turns to kiss Batman. But the movement turns into a friendly punch on the shoulder. An awkward punch on the shoulder that he plays off with a pun about their defeated foe. He doesn't even remember what he said. Hal just remembers how painful that moment was.

He is the biggest moron, because given his experience, it would've been instinct for him to play this easy. Instead he's that annoying booty call that keeps trying to keep his partner to stay. Hal hates being that.

So he resolves to end it. He doesn't really have to say anything.

He just has to ignore Batman's subtle signals to join him to a secluded corner. "Oh hey, Bar, what about that Star Trek marathon we kept putting off." Keep on ignoring the steady look being sent his way.

He just has to avoid Batman after every argument they have, and avoid being alone with the guy. It's easier and more natural than he thinks.

He just has to ignore the texts--booty calls. Batman never asked for his number anyway, just started texting him one day. Hal takes out the battery after he hears his phone ping too many times.

He just has to avoid talking to Batman at all, unless it has to do with work. No problem, he can even throw insults like he used to. It doesn't matter if Bats isn't as quick to snark back.

It works. He becomes thankful Batman can take a hint. After about nine weeks of that, the new (old) status quo becomes natural to him.

After about nine weeks, Hal wakes up to Batman standing at the foot of his bed.

"Jeezus _Christ._ "

Hal jolts up, stares, and rubs at his face. Batman is looking impassively down at him.

"Fuck. You _are_ spooky."

Hal isn't afraid enough of the Batman, specifically, but he _is_ jumpy at silhouettes that stand over him in the dark. The street lights only illuminate a side of Bats' face: although it stands out as the only pale thing against all of Batman's black, Hal can't even see a mouth.

"The fuck are you doing here at three in the morning?"

It takes several seconds for Batman to answer, and if Hal doesn't know better he'd think the guy is hesitating.

"You look well."

Hal stares incredulously at him. "I'm fine, yeah. What's up?" He makes sure the question sounds sarcastic.

"You didn't check in at the Watchtower, or inform League dispatch that you're on-world." It was said in Batman's usual matter-of-fact tone. "We need a constantly updated list of heroes on call."

Hal doesn't voice the fact the _Batman_ knew he arrived. "Fine. Whatever. I'll check in next time. But I am not on call." He grumbles incoherently as he passes a hand over his face (he'd rather get more sleep than fight Batman in his bedroom) and adds, "Look, can this wait till tomorrow? Can I just have fourteen hours for sleep and paid work so that I don't become homeless? Is that something you can allow?"

The Dark Knight is still for a few seconds. "Fourteen hours."

"Great. Thanks."

Hal expects him to leave, but the guy just stands there. He waits out the awkward silence, wondering exactly how to kick the Batman out without waking the neighbors. "... Can I help you?"

"Is there something amiss with the Corps? Have your duties changed?"

"No, not significantly. Is there a point to this?"

"Was there anything I--Why did--" An actual stop. Hal could swear he heard the snap of teeth at that. "...Has our relationship been anything less than ideal?"

"What, you the League's HR now?" Hal sighs impatiently. "I work with you just fine, don't I?"

Again, Batman goes silent. Hal huffs out, "What? Is that what you came for?"

"No. It can wait fourteen hours."

"Good. Fantastic."

This time Batman turns to leave, even before the "-tic". He's out the window in short order. Hal stares after him, but he's exhausted and has the space equivalent of jet lag, so he drops back to bed and passes out instead of thinking.

The next day, though, as he tunes up a jet, he does think.

Spooky is south of normal most days, but that entire visit was bizarre. Did Batman just break into his bedroom to pester him with personnel issues? That …actually sounds like the kind of crazy thing he would do. But something still niggled at him.

Batman stuttered. Batman never stutters.

It's possible... it could be... that Batman was there for a fuck. Maybe he just backed off when Hal needed sleep. But that didn't explain the rest of the conversation.

... The rest of the conversation... In fact it sounded like...

"Tom, I'm clocking out early! Finished up over here."

There's still an hour in his shift, but Tom will let him go because what are friends for? He'll just think it's Lantern business anyway.

…

Batman never apologizes for anything he says to Hal.

Except when he does, and it's always when needed. Sometimes the snide remark is just a teasing jibe, and he gets to throw something back and get an amused snort for it. He actually gets the Batman to laugh.

Batman never really talks to him.

Except at quiet moments when he lets slip something like "I watched my parents die in front of me" and Hal gets to tell him about his father. Or the time Batman calls Robin his son, or Superman his friend.

Batman never values his opinion.

Except when Bats follows his lead on space missions or helps him with his hairbrained plans.

Batman never shows him any consideration.

Except when Bats lets him sleep when most other League members are on call.

Hal Jordan is the planet's biggest moron.

…

Hal finds him running diagnostics on the Watchtower computers.

"We need to talk."

Batman doesn't respond. Doesn't even look like he heard.

"Just five minutes, B."

A few more taps on the screen, and then Batman straightens and turns to him. "What is this about?"

"I think I need to tell you in private."

There's the pause of last night (early morning?), but this time Hal can see the set to his jaw.

Batman sweeps past him. Hal follows to a small meeting room and locks the door behind him.

"When you said 'relationship' you didn't mean our working relationship." Hal watches Batman thin his lips, guesses he surprised the guy enough to not be interrupted. "You... What we did, us screwing on every available surface, that was a relationship to you."

"We don't need to talk about this."

"Yes we do." He meets Batman's eyes, or tries to. "Yes, we do. We'd been fooling around for, what, nearly a year? And in all that time, we never talked about it. You called it a _relationship_."

"Jordan, I'm aware that you don't--"

"I thought you were dating Bruce Wayne."

Batman stares at him. Hal shrugs.

"I thought we were just fooling around. My imagination works overtime when I'm in denial, apparently."

Still silence. And staring.

"... I'm not dating Bruce Wayne."

"That's…" Hal heaves a relieved sigh, his gaze now on the floor. "That's good to hear. Really good to hear, because otherwise this entire conversation would be useless and I'd need a smooth way to escape with my heart and dignity intact."

"... Heart."

"Well, there goes my dignity."

He chances a glance up at Bats again. No smile, but it's not a glare or surprise. That's progress, isn't it.

"I have a lot to apologize for," Hal begins, licking his lips. "But first, I have to ask. Are you still serious about that relationship? Coz... I'm down with that too. With some improvements, of course."

This time, he gets the smile. A tiny, tiny smile, but Batman has always been like that. What's new is Bats' voice; it sounds a little hoarse as he replies, "Improvements?"

"You did ask if things were ideal. They weren't. So."

Batman nods, moving closer. He holds Hal's hand, just lets it sit on top of his own (without the gauntlet, Hal notes), a thumb resting lightly on the back of Hal's hand. Batman's hands have been everywhere else on him, but this…

"We did this wrong."

"But we can try to fix it?"

Hal nods to that, staring down at their hands.

"I have things I should apologize for, too." Batman whispers.

Hal can't argue with that, but assures him, "Not as many as you think."

"I think this one, at least, deserves an apology."

Hal hears the flap of leather, and lightning-fast he realizes Batman is lowering the cowl. He sucks in a surprised breath.

"No, B, you don't have to right now-- Holy _fuck_. What...Holy shit. You _jackass_."

**Author's Note:**

> This was prompted by a tumblr post (which is gone? I can't even find the user). The prompt was for Hal to think Batman was dating Bruce, but I zeroed in on the detail of them being casual sex partners, instead. ... I'm bad at this prompt thing.
> 
> Edit: Found the [prompt](http://pansexualcassiecain.tumblr.com/post/154287998204/yo-batlantern-fans-please-consider)


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